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Student writing sample:
Too much moisture, not enough rain, lots of wind, and strange weather has been a part of global warming. Scientists are
mixed up in the report they give about global warming. Some belief that it is here now and others believe it does not be a problem.
The general population of Canada believes global warming is here and is a disasterous for our country. Generally Canadians believe that it is the impact of fossil fuels which has caused global warming.
Fossil fuels are a major contributor to global warming. The use of oil, gas and coal is the enormous to fuel our transportation, warm our houses, and run our businesses.
To begin with, oil is found in almost every area of our lifes.
From the beginning of when we find oil to when we throw an oil product away we are adding to global warming. When they find oil, they get it out of the ground. When they get it out of the ground, they
pollute the environment by using machinery.
The machinery pollutes the air because the carbon monoxide is given off from the machines goes into our atmosphere.
If they are “mining” the oil then large amounts of the land is destroyed and will take man, many years to grow again. Again the machinery that is used to strip the oil from the land pollutes the air with its carbon monoxide. The process that is used to take the oil out of the sand also pollutes the air. In addition to that, any of the products that are made from oil result in pollution in the way of factories putting smoke into the air.
Natural gas is used to heat our homes and run some transportation. When natural gas is looked for, the process to look for it as pollution in the air because people drive around looking for where to find the natural gas. The natural gas also is taken from the ground using a process called fracking.
This means that dirty water, chemicals and other stuffs are put into the ground to make natural gas, up out of the ground.
All of this process creates pollution which goes into the atmosphere.
Coal is used in Canada to make electricity. Coal is found in the ground and is mined and requires many big machines which run with oil.
Of course, all of these big machines release carbon monoxide into the air. Huge coal burning factories make lots of pollution in the air
while they are creating electricity to light everything that needs light. As a result of the coal
burning so much in Canada, the pollution makes a hole in the
ozone layer and the sun's rays heat the earth which creates global warming.
Canadians really depend on fossil fuels. This dependent on fossil fuels makes Canada a big contributor to global warming.
The conclusion we make is that Canadians need to look for other ways to create fuel, heat and light in the country. Canadians shouldn't be such huge contributors to global warming.
Selects from a broad range of words (impact, fossil fuels, global warming, major contributor, pollute the environment, release carbon monoxide, ozone
layer) to convey precise meaning in complex and abstract topics.
Level 4: Uses phrasal expressions (mixed up, the general population), conditional structures (if) and a
range of tenses in active voice (is mined, requires) and passive voice (use, makes, burning) with increasing accuracy.
Approaching Level 5: Uses many grammatical features in abstract structures, such as conditionals, passive voice and relative clauses with
accuracy.
Level 4: Uses a variety of sentence types to express relationships of time (From the beginning of when we find oil to when we
throw an oil product away we are adding to global warming.) and condition (If they are “mining” the oil then large amounts of the land
is destroyed and will take man, many years to grow again.).
Approaching Level 5: Selects sentence structures appropriate to the purpose, audience and style of writing.
Selects most accurate words (dependent should be dependence), uses sophisticated punctuation and revises content for tone, voice, audience
and purpose (The machinery pollutes the air because the carbon monoxide is given off from the machines goes into our atmosphere.).
Produces a variety of texts appropriate to the socio-cultural context. (Writes persuasive essay with topic sentence and concluding
paragraphs.)
Organizes ideas in a variety of extended texts that reiterate, emphasize and show proof and exception using transitional devices (to begin with, when,
again, in addition, this means, all of this, of course, while, as a result).
Level 4: Edits and revises texts for most punctuation conventions, word form (lifes should be lives), content,
organization, verb tense (belief should be believe), active voice (Natural gas is used to heat our homes and run some
transportation.) and passive voice (When natural gas is looked for, the process to look for it as pollution in the air because
people drive around looking for where to find the natural gas.).
Approaching Level 5: Proofreads and revises reports and extended text for coherence, audience, purpose, voice and standard
grammatical forms.
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