Grade 9 Level 5 Writing Sample

Global warming has become a serious threat to our planet. Explain what we can do as citizens to reduce the effects of global warming. You may want to consider factors, such as:

  • recycling
  • the impact of fossil fuels (oil, gas and coal)
  • the impact of consumerism (buying things).
Student Example

Student writing sample:

Quite a discussed topic today, global warming is one of the major discussed issues amongst us.  It is changing the worldOver the past few decades global warming has become a serious threat to our planet. It has been damaging the planet since the Industrial Revolution because of all fossil fuels being used for machines, automobiles and factories.

What we can do to help the environment is, 1. Reuse, renew and recycle. This means that we should try to save everything we use like papers, cans, water bottles and old books by putting them in recycling bins which are all around Canada. Use of toxic materials such as plastic and others which are hard to recycle are one of the reasons for global warming.  We need educate our fellow people on the importance of recycling and reducing the usage of plastic.  Certain plastics have also been introduced which can be recycled. The toxic plastics take about 10 to 15 years to decompose.  Some people do not stop to think about items that can be recycled or reused. For example both sides of a sheet of paper can be used for taking notes and instead of using plastic bags use cloth bags.  We should do recycling as it reuses the stuff used.

Another issue is the impact of fossil fuels on our environment. These fuels emit harmful gases and cause pollution. In order to reduce pollution, the vehicles which consume and admit petroleum products should have regular vehicle oil check.  Another way of saving environment is by using less non-renewable materials like coal, oil and gas and replacing them with renewable materials makes solar powers, windmills and water mills. For example using a solar powered car instead of one with gas. And walking to near place instead of using a car. The use of fossil fuels is also very effective as it reduces the use of harmful fuels such as petroleum and diesel as they harm atmosphere around us.

Other activities cause the global warming.  The harmful gases, raised from air conditioners and refrigerators harms the ozone layer which protects the earth so we should reduce the use of air conditioners and refrigerators.  Furthermore, the impact of cutting trees is also a threat to our planet as it leads to global warming so we should start planting more trees to save our environment

Also is there the impact of consumerism. The impact of consumerism is an issue for global warming.   Increasing for production is the result of consumerisms. The more we buy products such as paper, the more we need in industries.  And so on, they increase their activity of cutting trees. When people shop, they tend to throw out most of the things they come back with. For example when we buy six bottles of water, we throw out the bottles  when we finish with that  You can also save the environment by buying environmentally friendly products and reusing plastic bags are buying paper bags instead.

We should start buying eco-friendly goods.  As we start the others will also start this. Thus coming to a conclusion that when buying items or throwing away items we should think of ways to recycle and reuse. Remember, we have only one planet, so take care of it because it's our next generation that's going to suffer. We all know global warming has become the main threat to our planet we should reduce it.  If we don't start to take care of the environment we won't have a planet anymore.

Selects from a broad range of words (global warming, industrial revolution, machines, automobiles, factories, educate, certain, petroleum products, non-renewable materials, fossil fuels, environment, environmentally friendly products, toxic).

Uses phrasal expressions (Quite a discussed topic, one of the major, all around, on our environment, eco-friendly goods), conditional structures (if), a range of past tense (raised), present tense (is, need, cutting, save, buying, throwing), future tense (will also start …) and perfect tense (has become) in active (It is changing the world) and passive voice (Use of toxic materials such as plastic and others which are hard to recycle are one of the reasons for global warming.).

Writes a variety of sentence structures to express relationships of time and condition. Time: (Over the past few decades global warming has become a serious threat to our planet.) Condition: (If we don’t start to take care of the environment we won’t have a planet anymore.)

Uses a variety of strategies to make more effective word choices. (Approximation: admit = emit; Circumlocution: regular vehicle oil check = regular vehicle maintenance.)

Produces texts with a developing sense of audience (so take care of it because it’s our next generation that’s going to suffer), genre (selected persuasive essay), voice and degree of formality.

Connects ideas in a cohesive, well-developed, five‑paragraph academic composition using a variety of cohesive devices (this means, which, instead of, as, another, in order, other, furthermore, also, when, and so on, for example, thus, conclusion). (Writes an essay and is able to use an introductory paragraph; however, does not include a clear topic sentence or thesis statement.)

Edits and revises essays for most punctuation conventions (commas (,), commas between papers, cans, water bottles), appropriate word forms and word choice (Increasing for production = increased production), content (reuse, renew, reduce, recycle, fossil fuels, harmful gases, consumerism), organization (sequenced paragraphs), verb tense (has been damaging, have also been introduced), active voice (Some people do not stop to think about items that can be recycled or reused.) and passive voice (both sides of a sheet of paper can be used for taking notes).

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