|
Student writing sample:
Continued space travel and exploration are
essential for humans in order to expand our understanding of the universe. One of the biggest questions we have is if there are other living beings out there. We also want to know whether or not there are any valuable resources that we can use on earth.
Finally, as the earth becomes more and more crowded, people wonder
if there is a planet that humans can live on. Of course there are many costs, dangers and rewards
associated with exploring these three ideas further.
Aliens and extra-terrestrial beings occupy the imaginations of millions of people. Think of how many books, movies and songs are about creatures from outer space. As soon as man stepped foot on the moon – the question about life on other planets continued to
dominate space research and exploration. The technology required to observe, record, and test the atmosphere and
composition of the planets is very costly. It is expensive to design tools to
withstand extreme temperatures and unknown materials.
Also as science advances and new things are discovered, new tools need to be created in order to find out more. Many satellites and
probes are used to determine if there is movement or living things on other planets. These tools only measure what we currently know to measure. Scientists are working hard to
evolve the satellites and probes
so that we can measure and learn more. The dangers of finding out about life on other planets is that sometimes valuable equipment is lost or worse, human lives are lost as some space crafts do not make it out of the earth’s atmosphere or back into it after a mission is completed. But when there are discoveries made the rewards are huge for the astronauts and the scientists as they become famous and make lots of money
because of their bravery or
brilliance.
Humans use a lot of the earth’s resources. Some are
renewable and some are non-renewable.
Consumption is a huge concern and so some people focus on using renewable resources and recycling what we do have and others look to finding new sources of energy. One of the places that scientists are exploring for resources is space.
As far as we know, since nobody lives in space, no one owns space including the land, the air or the resources.
Therefore, if someone was to discover something useful and a way to mine it and transport it back to earth, they could do that.
While that would be extremely expensive to research, it could be very
profitable in the end. However, there may also be many dangers such as losing new equipment and technology while trying to find out what works, or losing lives
when people are exploring or having the resource be
toxic and harmful to humans once it’s in earth’s atmosphere. If the resource was helpful to humans the rewards would be fame, money and a good feeling of knowing you have helped to do some good for people or the planet earth.
One of the most interesting ideas is living on another planet besides earth or even living in space on a big space ship. Star Wars and Star Trek are just two of hundreds of movies and shows about living in space and have
captured the imaginations of people. Nowadays when astronauts live in space it is on small
space craft with not a lot of room or excitement. They spend a lot of time doing research and monitoring things. They must miss their families when they are away for a long time or
get tired of the people they are stuck onboard with. We are a long ways from being able to live in space in a comfortable way with all of the amenities
that we are used to. For people to actually live in space a lot of money will have to be invested in space craft or habitat structures on other planets that have oxygen supplies. This would also be quite dangerous and many people could have accidents or die
if something were to go wrong with the
habitat. The rewards for humans would be kind of like being a pioneer or the “first” true space residents. Also a chance for a new or different way of life.
Space travel and exploration will be a part of the human story for years to come. We won’t know how long it will take before aliens are discovered, resources are mined and utilized on earth or if we will truly ever live in space. Money will continued to be invested in space and some lives will be lost, but the rewards and excitement will be worth it.
Selects from a broad range of words to convey precise meaning in complex and abstract contexts (essential, universe, associated, dominate,
composition, withstand, probes, evolve, renewable, non-renewable, profitable, toxic, space craft, monitoring, habitat).
Uses many grammatical features in abstract structures, such as conditional structures (if there is, if), passive voice (Aliens
and extra-terrestrial beings occupy the imaginations of millions of people.) and relative clauses (when, that) with accuracy.
Selects sentence structures appropriate to the purpose, audience and style of writing (Therefore, if someone was to discover something useful and a
way to mine it and transport it back to earth, they could do that.).
Selects most accurate words (brilliance, captured, pioneer), uses sophisticated punctuation (-) and revises content for tone,
voice, audience and purpose (get tired of, stuck onboard, invested, residents).
Produces a variety of texts appropriate to the socio-cultural context attending to audience, genre, voice and degree of formality (Space travel and
exploration will be a part of the human story for years to come. We won’t know how long it will take before aliens are discovered, resources are mined and
utilized on earth or if we will truly ever live in space. Money will continued to be invested in space and some lives will be lost, but the rewards and
excitement will be worth it.).
Organizes ideas in a variety of extended texts that reiterate, emphasize and show proof and exception using transitional devices (in order to, finally,
of course, also, so that, because of, as far as we know, while, however, one of the, nowadays).
Proofreads and revises reports and extended texts for coherence, audience, purpose, voice and standard grammatical forms (Consumption is a huge
concern and so some people focus on using renewable resources and recycling what we do have and others look to finding new sources of energy. One of the
places that scientists are exploring for resources is space.).
|