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Student writing sample:
Have you ever listened about global warming? Global warming is becoming a more serious problem and
has become a threat
to our planet. So I will tell you how we can stop global warming.
Global warming is making our world a dangerous place and it is destroying the world.
Global warming is caused by the greenhouse gases that are left by factories,
cars, motorbikes etc. The air is polluted from factory emissions and car exhaust.
Because of the greenhouse gases there is
acid rain. Acid rain destroys lakes
and rivers and affects the fish and wildlife.
Due to global warming the ozone layer is depleting and the harmful ultraviolet rays are reaching the earth. This
causes the glaciers and icebergs to melt.
First, we have work together to reduce, reuse and recycle to stop the causes of global warming.
One of the things we could do is recycle more. Recycling is
the process in which we could reuse things like cardboard, plastic bottles and plastic bags.
For example we could use both sides of a piece of paper. Even more
useful, would be to buy washable water bottles that can be reused.
Finally we can buy goods with less packaging and we could carry cloth bags to carry our
groceries and purchases instead of wasting plastic bags.
Next we need to find more different types of energy to use as another step to stop the effects of global warming. Using more solar, wind and hydroelectric
power would reduce pollution and consumption of fossil fuels.
Less gas and coal would be burned if people used alternate power sources. As well we can use public
transport instead of driving alone in individual cars.
If people prefer not to take the bus or train they could walk or ride a bike.
There are other ways to put global warming in check. One is to plant more trees and stop deforesting. More trees produce more oxygen which benefits the
ozone layer. Another way is to switch off electrical equipment when not in use would stop the wastage of precious electricity.
When people think about the concequences and how to help to prevent global warming and take action we could stop global warming. This would make our world
a wonderful place to live.
Selects from a broad range of words (threat, planet, polluted, emissions, exhaust, acid rain, affects, wildlife, depleting, glaciers, packaging,
instead, hydroelectric, pollution, fossil fuels, precious).
Uses phrasal expressions (left by, switch off), conditional structures (Less gas and coal would be burned if people used alternate
power sources.), and passive and active voice (Global warming is caused by the greenhouse gases ...,
Global warming is making ...).
Writes a variety of sentence structures to express relationships of time and condition (If people prefer not to take the bus or train they could
walk or ride a bike.).
Uses a variety of strategies to make effective word choices (One is to plant more trees and stop deforesting [deforestation].).
Produces expository and narrative texts with a developing sense of audience, genre, voice and degree of formality (First, we have work together to
reduce, reuse and recycle to stop the causes of global warming.).
Connects ideas in a cohesive, well-developed five-paragraph academic composition using a variety of cohesive devices (Because, Due to, One of the
things, Finally, For example, Next, As well, Another way, when).
Edits and revises for punctuation conventions (?), (,) (etc.), appropriate word forms (useful, washable) and
word choice (consumption), content, organization (… and we could carry cloth bags to carry our groceries and purchases instead of
wasting plastic bags.) and verb tense (has become, is destroying, could stop).
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