Stengthen peer relationships

Students with behaviour disabilities often have difficulty forming positive relationships with peers because they may lack the social skills necessary to negotiate and mediate friendships. They also tend to form relationships with others who have similar behaviour difficulties and this increases the social challenges of peer relationships.

Sample strategies for developing peer relationships

• Encourage small groups of students to work collaboratively on specific projects, and help them to understand and practise the different roles involved in effective group work.
• Involve student in games and other recreational activities (with adult supervision and support).
• Use role-playing to teach alternative responses to social difficulties or conflicts among peers.
• Set up guidelines or develop a menu of strategies for resolving conflicts for students who have social difficulties. These supports can help them begin to work out minor difficulties between themselves.
• Group students strategically. Look for combinations of students who can work well together.
• Provide adequate supervision during group work to ensure positive behaviour is reinforced and to intervene quickly if bullying or other problem behaviours occur.

Use reframing instead of criticism

Look for opportunities to show students a new picture of themselves. Instead of pointing out what’s wrong, describe what’s right and what still needs to be done.

Intentionally use positive descriptions rather than negative descriptions. In Raising Your Spirited Child (1991), Mary Sheedy Kurcinka contrasts negative descriptions with positive descriptions. For example:

Negative descriptions  Demanding Loud Argumentative Nosy Wild Explosive Distractible

Positive descriptions Has high standards Enthusiastic Opinionated, strongly committed to goals Curious Energetic Dramatic Perceptive

To rename and reframe with positive language, here are four simple steps.

1. Think of a student with problem behaviour.
2. Rename one or more of his or her negative traits as positive traits.
   

   E.g.,	stubborness = determination
   	talking back = honesty
   	constant movement = energy

3. Identify the positive traits you want to encourage him or her to practise.
4. Put into a positive sentence.

Example: With a student who tends to talk back, “Mattais, I appreciate your honesty in stating your opinion. How can you make your point in a more respectful way?” With an active, restless student, “Havla, you have great energy. Now you need to turn that energy on your social studies project and finish up that chart.”

This kind of reframing can help students change their mental pictures of themselves and their power to influence situations.

Teach positive self-talk

Students with behaviour disabilities often use the kind of self-talk after a confrontation or adversarial situation that further supports their already negative view of themselves. They may think, “Oh, what an idiot,” or “Why did I say that? How stupid can I be?”

Provide explicit and systematic instruction about replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk. For example:

• Teach examples of positive self-talk statements: “I did that well,” “I tried that task,” “I recognized that Sue calling me a name was a trigger for me so I did a great job of walking away” or “I made a mistake but it’s just a mistake so I need to keep calm.”
• When teaching and practising new or replacement behaviour, prompt students to use positive self-talk.
• Prompt students to use positive self-talk in relevant situations throughout the school day.
• Model positive self-talk with comments such as, “I did a great job on that chart,” “Mistakes are hard for me but I’m willing to try something new,” “We all make mistakes—now, what can I learn from this?”
• Point out examples of other people using positive self-talk, especially popular peers, favourite adults or sports heroes.